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Welcome to “Slanderoid’s Monster of the Week”! This is a series where I highlight some of the greatest monsters to have ever graced the screen (or the page). These monsters are not only my favorites, but they are also objectively the best. If you have any questions about my selections for this series, shoot me an email at eat_farts@goaway.com. Okay, on to this week’s monster:

Regenerador (Resident Evil 4, 2005, 2023)

I thought it would be best to start this series off with a somewhat well-known monster. If you’ve ever played Resident Evil 4, there’s no way you could escape taking psychic damage from hearing these horrific parasite sacs as they ambled down the halls of the island facilities. And, if you’ve never played Resident Evil 4, what the hell have you been doing with your life? Seriously, it’s been out for twenty years. You need to get your priorities straight.

Anyway, I’m not here to berate you for your life choices – I’m here to tell you about monsters that will assault your senses and scar your mind… In a good way, if I’m not being clear.

In Resident Evil 4, the player will stumble into the Regenerador in the final area of the game. It’s a lab-grown freak that has so many parasites packed into its body that the Regenerador is sustained by them and reliant on them to survive. Thanks to this, the only way to kill the hideous thing is to take out each parasite individually with one of your trusty guns. The only problem is that the player can’t see the parasites through the monster’s skin without a special piece of equipment. That means that, without that equipment, the player can’t kill the first couple of these things they come across without exhausting their resources, so their best bet is to run away from them (and, conversely, be chased by them) until they get what they need to kill them.

Sure, an nearly-unkillable monster can be scary but it can also just be a pain in the ass. What keeps the Regenerador from just being a kick in the crotch whenever they show up? Excellent design, that’s what. The first time you hear this thing whimpering and struggling to breathe (because you’ll hear it long before you see it), the sound will leave an imprint on your mind that will never go away. Seriously, I can still hear it right now, a day after playing the game, and it’s fucking awful.

But the visual design of the of these monstrosities is just as effective as the sound design. In the original game, they kind of looked like aliens that had had a hard life. In the recently released remake, however, they took the Regenerador’s design and cranked it up a few notches. Now, they look like puppets made of loose skin and move as if they are being steered by the parasites crammed into its body. It made my skin crawl the first time I saw it walk through a doorway that was too short for it and its head just kind of flopped over when it hit the doorframe. It looked as if it didn’t feel or care that it could have just snapped its own neck. And it’s like I always say: a monster that doesn’t feel pain or respond to injury is a creepy monster, indeed. I’m literally always saying that.

Those who have played this game know that it’s filled with monsters that will stick with the player for a long, long time. This weirdo is just one of many that will haunt the player when the game is over. I’d argue that it’s the creepiest of them all, though.

Check back again next week to see which monster will be in the spotlight. It’s only going to get weirder and creepier from here… See you next time!